Calling Escorts When Drunk
When I was younger I would almost only call escorts when I was drunk. I was usually out at the club and I had a pretty good success rate of picking up, but like every one in the world I would strike out sometimes. Going home alone sucked, I would be horny and have two options – turn on the computer for some porn or call up an escort agency. Most of the time I would call up for escorts because when you’re drunk and horny, jerking off sucks.
I definitely ran into my fair share of funny situations when I was drunk and calling escorts, including falling asleep before they came, not being able to finish and ending up more frustrated when they left, spending way too much money by extending an hour long visit to an all nighter and waking up feeling pure regret. However I have a couple of stories I’d like to share you with on this subject because I think they’re both funny and provide some insight or advice for all of you who are reading.
When you’re drunk and call an escort one of the main things you need to be able to do is remember that they’re not drunk at all (most likely) and they’re not turned on or excited by the fact that you’re drunk. I always make sure I keep my cool, I don’t stumble my words or in any other way lead them on to knowing that I’m drunk. I offer them a drink so that I can keep my buzz going and hopefully they’re a light weight and get a buzz off of one or two drinks.
Calling An Escort When Drunk Story #1
The evening in question, I did not adhere to any of the advice I just gave you. The escort that arrived at my place was absolutely gorgeous, she was Chinese but born and raised here in America. She obviously had no accent at all. She was about 5’2″, 90lbs, very perky B cup and a tight little ass. I opened up the door and I was blown away. I had actually ordered from an escort agency, and had specifically requested a blonde, and when an Asian (with blonde hair mind you) showed up I kind of laughed… not what I was expecting!
I told her how sexy she was, and then explained I asked for a blonde.. she just gave me this look like… yeah? I am blonde! So I started feeling like I was in bizarro world and told her well maybe I’m drunk so I’m not seeing right here, but you’re Asian.. your hair isn’t naturally blonde. She right away made a huge deal about my being drunk. She continued on by saying that half of the white girls who are blonde aren’t natural blondes, what difference does it make if she’s Asian etc. I felt like I was losing an argument I should have been winning, but at the end of the day I didn’t call an escort agency to win a debate, and this young Asian escort was very sexy. She was actually my first Asian I had ever been with. I don’t know why but I am not turned on by the innocence and submissiveness that’s typically associated with Chinese women, this girl with all her spunk and attitude and no accent had me going right away. Once she got inside and I convinced my being drunk wouldn’t be a problem, I offered her a drink – to which she refused.
Once we got down to action, I realized my first experience with an Asian escort was not going to go over well. She took my pants off and when I wasn’t hard immediately she said “oh god, you’re drunk so you’re never going to get hard!” Right away I knew that this was turning into a bad situation, but being drunk and not being able to think with the other head I continued on and convinced her that I just needed a bit of oral to get me going. Sure enough I was right and once I was hard I took her clothes off and laid her down on her back… she was extremely tight! I get no pleasure out of hurting escorts or women in general by throwing it in too fast. So I ended up losing my hard on multiple times while trying to slide my hard member into her tight hole. Once I finally had it in, I took a quick look at my watch and realized I only had 15 minutes left in the appointment.
I was drilling away as hard as I could, trying to enjoy it as much as possible but being drunk I know I was going to have to come to an end soon otherwise it wasn’t going to happen. That’s when she started going on again about how I’m not going to be able to finish because I’m drunk. That pretty much ruined it for me, she had a really annoying voice and having her nag me while I’m trying to finish up proved to be too much of a distraction for me to handle. I ended up just ending the session, putting my clothes on and telling her to take a shower and hit the road.
It was truly a situation where it could have gone a lot better had I not been drunk. If I were drunk we wouldn’t have argued about what I felt was a bait and switch because I wouldn’t have mentioned anything about what I requested, she wouldn’t have told me I was too drunk to get hard, finish etc It was a lesson learned!
Calling An Escort When Drunk Story #2
My next story about calling an escort when drunk is completely different. I will never forget this night because of how crazy it was. I don’t usually like to see escorts that are listed as 18 years old, because to me it’s cutting it too close. I don’t think women should be allowed to escort at the tender age of 18 and this is one of the reasons I encourage legalizing escorting and regulating it. Make the minimum age 21 or 23. Anyway, This 18 year old had a body to die for and I’ll admit, being drunk played into the decision of relaxing my morals. When she showed up I was completely blown away, she looked BETTER in person than in her pictures. Her pictures didn’t show her face, and I have no problem with that as I expect privacy from escorts – so when they want their privacy I feel I have no right to complain. But wow, when I saw this little number I couldn’t believe she was actually standing in front of me. She was 5’9″, blonde haired, blue eyed and she had the figure of a Goddess. 34-DDD (natural!) 23 inch waist and 36 inch hips. Her facial features were that of a runway model. When I said I was surprised she was in front of me, I’m not kidding. It was summer time and so she had on a pair of skin tight jeans and a skimpy white tank top that left her pierced belly button exposed and showed a lot of cleavage. She had her long blonde hair in a pony tail and looked shyly at the ground.
I knew she was new to the business and very young, so I booked her for two hours in order to be able to take things a little slower. When she came in I asked her if she wanted a drink to which she enthusiastically said yes. I know I know, second mistake. So anyway, we started talking and she ended up being really cool. She was telling me about how she loves sex and wanted to make a bunch of money as quickly as possible in order to be able to travel Europe for a couple months before enrolling in university. Then we started talking about Europe, which I had previously been to several times and so we got carried away talking about that. Before I knew it I realized I had already given her three drinks and she was starting to stammer and slur her words. I told her to take it easy on her drink and she jumped up at me and planted a huge kiss on me. She said she wanted to go to the bedroom right then and there, and complemented me saying how cool I am and how comfortable she was with me.. and on the way to the bedroom we passed the kitchen where she chugged more liquor. At this point I realized things were heading down hill fast.
When we got to the bedroom she jumped on the bed and I went to the en suite bathroom. When I was inside I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and decided I wasn’t going to go through with this. I was drunk, she was drunk, she’s an 18 year old kid looking to make money to go travelling, someone’s daughter etc so I slapped some cold water on my face and walked out of the bedroom, to realize she vomited all over my pillows and had passed out on the bed. Wow, ok. So I tried to wake her up by calling her name, no response. I tried to rub her shoulder and wake her up, no response. Finally I just started to speak loudly, saying wake up! wake up! Still nothing. I realized at this point I needed to get a hold of the escort agency, so I called them up and explained what had happened. They said they would call the driver and he would be coming over momentarily.
When he came up he started treating the situation like I had done something wrong, saying nothing better be wrong with her etc. So I explained to him we were having drinks, I didn’t realize she had one too many, I went to the bathroom and came back and she was passed out, we hadn’t done anything together. At this point I guess he realized I am a decent guy and believed and so together we woke her up, and her carried her back down to the car. That was the last time I seen her, and the next day her pictures were taken off of the agency’s website.
Had I not been drunk in this situation I probably wouldn’t have called an 18 year old escort and I definitely wouldn’t have offered her drinks. But you live and learn and that’s life!
Posted by EscortEscapades
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